Therapy for perfectionism

When doing well on paper doesn’t feel like enough

Therapy for perfectionism may be for you if you’re the one others turn to — competent, capable, always pushing forward. From the outside, it looks like you’re doing great. But inside, you might feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or often on edge. Your mind doesn’t switch off. Perhaps your self-worth is tied to productivity, success, or getting it “right.” You replay mistakes, obsess over fine details and dwell on what you “should” have done. You set impossibly high standards and beat yourself up for falling short, even when no one else would call it a failure. Success doesn’t bring peace — just more pressure to maintain it. You may wonder: Why isn’t it ever enough?

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Therapy for perfectionism and high achievers feeling the pressure

Many perfectionists and high achievers carry unseen pressure: to get it right, to keep it together, to be “fine”. You may have always been the “good one,” the “smart one,” or the one who coped. Somewhere along the way, achievement became a survival strategy – a way to avoid criticism, gain approval, or feel in control.

Over time, this can lead to burnout, chronic anxiety, people-pleasing, or a sense of disconnection from your real needs. You might notice difficulty resting, feelings of guilt around doing nothing, or a quiet fear that if you stop, everything will fall apart.

Often, these patterns link back to a deeper form of inherited or acquired sensitivity — where your nervous system learned to stay vigilant, attuned to others’ expectations, or driven by a deep need to feel safe or worthy. Whether this came from trauma, chronic invalidation, childhood pressure, or simply being a sensitive, high-capacity person in a demanding world, it’s valid.

You don’t have to stop striving or lower your standards — but therapy for perfectionism can help you understand the roots of these patterns, untangle your self-worth from your output, and reconnect with the parts of you that exist beyond achievement. It’s about learning to pursue your goals without losing yourself in the process

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. It is the belief that if you look perfect, do perfect, and live perfect, you can avoid pain.”

— Brené Brown

A safe, collaborative space — at your pace

In our work together, we’ll explore what drives your perfectionism — not to pathologise it, but to understand it. I offer a compassionate space to help you reflect on how achievement has shaped your identity and gently challenge the belief that your value comes from what you do, rather than who you are.

Together, we might explore:

  • How early experiences shaped your need to over-function
  • Nervous system regulation and how burnout impacts the body
  • The inner critic and how to soften perfectionistic thinking
  • Boundaries, rest, and how to feel safe being imperfect
  • Shame, fear of failure, and the role of validation
  • Reconnecting with joy, play, and self-trust, not just performance

Many of my clients are sensitive, perfectionistic high-achieving professionals, athletes, or entrepreneurs whose strengths have been overlooked because they function “too well”. Therapy for perfectionism offers a chance to slow down, reflect, and explore what’s behind the mask of capability — and who you might be underneath it.

You don’t have to hold it all together on your own

Whether you’re ready to start therapy for perfectionism now or just gathering information, there are a few ways to stay connected and take the next step that feels right for you.

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Meet Carly

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Find answers to common questions about therapy - everything from fees to how often we meet and the practicalities of therapy


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“We are human-beings not human-doings. Sometimes the most radical thing we can do is just be”

FAQs

I offer one-to-one therapy online for young people and adults who feel things deeply, think a lot, and often carry more than they show. You might be navigating anxiety, trauma, burnout, perfectionism, or the impact of being neurodivergent in a world that doesn’t always understand.

Whether you feel overwhelmed and stuck, or simply want to understand yourself more deeply, therapy can give you space to reflect, make sense of your experiences, and begin to move forward with greater clarity and self-compassion. You can read more about my specialisms here.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, burnt out, or unsure of who you are anymore, therapy can help. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. Many of my clients come simply because they want to understand themselves better, feel less alone in their struggles, and find a kinder way forward.

Having an initial introduction meeting with me is the best way to see how you feel and check-in with your gut, I trust you to know what a good match looks like to for you. The most important part is finding a therapist where the connection feels right, someone whose presence feels safe, whose vibe fits, and whose experience aligns with what you need.

If you’re neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, a person of colour, or have experienced trauma, it’s okay, and important to ask how a therapist works with identities and experiences like yours. A good therapist will welcome these questions and won’t take them personally. You deserve to feel seen and supported in every part of who you are. Check out the meet Carly page to find out more about me as a human and a therapist.

And if you don’t find the right fit straight away, that’s okay. Sometimes it takes meeting a few therapists before something clicks. If you decide to meet with me and it doesn’t feel quite right, that’s absolutely fine. I’ll always respect your decision. There are times when I may not feel we are good fit for one another, if my approach, skills or experience don’t match what you are looking for. In these instances I am more than happy to offer a recommendation when possible.

Weekly sessions are recommended wherever possible, as research shows therapy for perfectionism is most effective with regular, consistent attendance. Weekly sessions help build trust, create momentum, and allow us to work with what’s happening in your life as it unfolds.

Occasionally, for those with limited funds, I may offer fortnightly sessions but only if space allows and if it’s clinically appropriate. Feel free to get in touch if this is something you’re considering.

Frequent cancellations or irregular attendance can interrupt the therapeutic process, so I ask clients to commit to attending consistently.

Individual therapy for perfectionism is £105 per 50 minute session and is held weekly via Zoom. Payment is requested one week in advance of your session via bank transfer, you will receive invoices and payment reminders via email.

Your fee doesn’t just cover our 50-minute session — it supports the wider framework that makes our work together safe, effective, and thoughtfully held.

This includes note-taking, email communication between sessions, time spent preparing, reflecting, or researching resources that may support you, and the systems I use to keep things running smoothly — from secure onboarding and scheduling to invoicing and admin.

It also contributes to essential behind-the-scenes costs such as clinical supervision (where I reflect on my work to ensure I’m offering the best support), ongoing professional development and training, and maintaining high-quality equipment for an accessible and reliable online experience.
In short: your investment supports a well-rounded, well-resourced therapeutic space — so you can feel held, not just during our sessions, but in the care and thought that surrounds them.

For weekly clients, I allow up to two cancellations within any three-month rolling period — to give space for things like illness or holidays. Outside of that, sessions are chargeable unless we’ve agreed otherwise.

Life happens, and I know things come up, so if you’re struggling to attend regularly, we can talk about what’s going on and find a way forward together. Therapy works best when it’s consistent, but I also understand the need for flexibility.

Yes — we’ll agree on a written therapy contract before we begin, which outlines things like confidentiality, fees, cancellations, and how I work. I’ll go through it with you so you feel clear and supported from the start.

I’m a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and work in line with their ethical framework. This means I’m committed to practising safely, respectfully, and with integrity. I also have regular monthly supervision with a senior therapist, which helps ensure I’m offering you the best possible support and staying grounded in ethical, reflective practice.

In the UK, many people don’t realise that counselling and psychotherapy aren’t legally regulated professions. This means that, technically, anyone can call themselves a therapist. For your safety and peace of mind, it’s important to check that any prospective therapist is qualified, experienced, and registered with a professional membership body such as the BACP, UKCP, NCS, or BABCP. These organisations require members to follow a clear ethical code and offer a formal complaints process.

You should also expect a written contract or agreement, along with clear information about fees, cancellations, confidentiality, and how your data will be protected.

In our first session, I’ll guide us through a holistic assessment known as a biopsychosocial assessment. This just means we’ll explore different areas of your life, from your emotional wellbeing and mental health history, to physical health, lifestyle, relationships, and any social or environmental factors that might be influencing how you feel.

We’ll also talk about what’s brought you to therapy and begin to set some initial intentions for our work together, not rigid goals, but a sense of what you’re hoping for. I bring together my therapy training and nursing background to think about the whole picture  because sometimes things like low vitamin D, poor sleep, or chronic pain can quietly contribute to emotional distress.

There’s no pressure to share more than you feel ready to. It’s also a chance to ask questions, get a feel for how I work, and decide whether this space feels right for you.

In our first session, I’ll guide us through a holistic assessment known as a biopsychosocial assessment. This just means we’ll explore different areas of your life, from your emotional wellbeing and mental health history, to physical health, lifestyle, relationships, and any social or environmental factors that might be influencing how you feel.

We’ll also talk about what’s brought you to therapy and begin to set some initial intentions for our work together, not rigid goals, but a sense of what you’re hoping for. I bring together my therapy training and nursing background to think about the whole picture  because sometimes things like low vitamin D, poor sleep, or chronic pain can quietly contribute to emotional distress.

There’s no pressure to share more than you feel ready to. It’s also a chance to ask questions, get a feel for how I work, and decide whether this space feels right for you.

I don’t offer therapeutic support between sessions, but you’re always welcome to email me with practical questions, therapy homework or to let me know if there’s something important you’d like to bring into the next session. I usually reply within 1–2 working days.

This is something we’ll keep checking in on together. I offer regular reviews every 8 weeks during the first year of therapy. These are gentle reflections on how things are going: what’s been helpful, what hasn’t, and whether we might need to adjust our focus, style, or approach.

We’ll explore any changes you’ve noticed in how you feel, how you relate to yourself, or how you move through the world. It’s also a space to talk about anything difficult coming up in the therapy itself, including our relationship. I want this to be a space that truly supports you, and that means staying open, curious, and collaborative as we go.

It depends on what you need. Some people come for a few months to work through something specific, but most of my clients are working through long-held patterns often shaped by years, or even a lifetime, of struggle. Many stay for at least a year, with the average being around two years, and some longer.

What matters is that therapy keeps feeling helpful and meaningful. We’ll regularly review how it’s going, and if you ever feel ready to end, we can plan a gentle transition such as moving to fortnightly or monthly sessions. The goal is for you to feel confident in knowing you’ll be okay without therapy, and I’ll support you all the way there.

We’ll talk about this together when it feels like the right time. You might notice you’re coping with more ease, feeling clearer in yourself, or simply less in need of weekly support. You might be struggling to know what to talk about, or therapy might be feeling more like a ‘chat’. We can move to fortnightly or monthly sessions to support a gentle ending if you prefer, and our ending session will always be planned together. The door isn’t closed — you’re always welcome to return.

Not at all. I welcome self-identified and questioning clients. Together, we can explore traits, map experiences, and identify helpful support or accommodations – whether or not you pursue a formal diagnosis.

Yes –  research supports online therapy as just as effective as in-person, and many clients find it easier to open up from the comfort of their own space. It also offers flexibility and accessibility for those with busy lives, chronic illness, or sensory needs.

Yes — what you share in therapy stays between us. There are a few legal and ethical exceptions, such as if I’m concerned about serious harm to you or someone else, or if I’m required to share information by law. But if I ever needed to break confidentiality, I’d always aim to speak with you about it first wherever possible. You’re welcome to ask more about this at any time.

I take data protection seriously and follow GDPR and professional guidelines to keep your information safe. Your notes are stored securely, your contact details are kept confidential, and our online sessions are encrypted. I’ll go through a full privacy notice with you before we begin, so you know exactly how your information is handled.

I can support you if you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, but I’m not a crisis service. If you’re in immediate danger or need urgent help, it’s important to reach out to a 24/7 crisis service or go to A&E. Once you’re safe, we can explore ongoing support together. I can also help you find the right services if you’re unsure where to turn. For a list of crisis support you can click here.